Turmoil...

mind is not at peace... something is bothering me..
something that cannot be resolved by sharing with others...
something, which i can say, that's killing me day in day out...
something that ppl will not be able to understand or completely comprehend from the outside...
something that may even seem like a joke to some..
something that may mean nothing or trivial to others...

I am just so hurt and upset!

I'm feelin emo all over again!!!

I'll Try!

I am trying to keep my promise to myself that i will update this space as often as i can... But i am just so drained when i get back home after work tat all i think about is sleepin! But i'll keep trying la...

Work's been alright.. I noe alot of things are going on in the department... But... I dunno what it really is... and i dun wanna push my nose into them... As long as work goes smoothly i am okie.. My relation with all at work has been okie.. So i thank god for that... Ppl, working relations are extremely crucial... It makes or screws ur days at work!!! Trust me!!!

2 of my fav Drs are leaving the Hospital and one of the nurse is also leaving but just the department...

The department's Christmas party was a blast!!!Had so much of fun.. And Bernice got me this very pretty little purse... I manage to find something for the one i picked.. And he claims he likes it.. Hopefully!!!But the overall party was exciting!We played, musical bed.. bursting balloons... guess the baby... charades... indian beauty queen! The doctors were such a joy to watch... So sporting and fun natured!!!

Family chalet this yr was not all that fantastic.. I was sick like shit... Lying in bed most of the time... My aunt was still crying when the clock striked 12... We all miss Vicky boy.. But i think its time we allow reality to sip in and accept that he is gone! for good!..He is probably happier in the better world! He was a great boy! He will be happy no matter where he is to be! But I miss him loads!

Came back on 1st morning.. only to sleep all the way till the next day! I was on leave as the chalet was supposed to be till then but gave it to my sister for her to have her celebration with her frens... Spend the day sleepin as well.. i was sick.. actually i still am.. coughing so badly... Went for band practice... Band practice dun feel the same anymore.. The fun and excitment is dying down.. But I still love it no matter what!!! Went to uncle's place for dinner... Guna treated us to pizza hut... Left for home at almost 12.. slept again.. Saturday was another bumper day at home... Slept thruout again!!!

Sunday went to IMM to to shop for my sister's swim attire.. Came back.. cleared my room and went out again at ard 8pm to Woodlands to meet Geetha and Aneetha... Been ages... Last saw them in June 08! Had dinner at Breekz and chatted over drinks at Burger King...

Cant wait for Friday!...

See ya all soon!

Villu!

My two favorites!!!! Cant wait for the movie to be out on the 12th this month.... After a long long time.. a tamil movie i really wanna watch!!!!

Villu!!!

Vani's married!

My precious woman is no longer single.. very much happily married(for now just legally, traditional marriage next yr!) to the man of her life... love... Denash... I wish them nothing but the best and woman, as much as i noe u being married may mean, u have more responsibilities now, and that i may not get to spend as much time as before, i wan you to know tat i love with all my heart and u will be one and only super special ifren i have for life!Love u di and all the best!!!

Presentin to you...

Mr and Mrs Denash!

Mundhinam...

I am in love with the Mundhinam Paarthaenae Song from Vaaranam Aayiram!!!


Beautiful is an understatement!!!

Hi malini..I am Krishnan…
naan idha solliye aaganum..
nee avlavu azhagu..
Inga evanum ivlo azhaga oru…
Ivlo azhaga paarthurka maattaanga…
and I am in love with you…

Mundhinam paarthene…paarthadhum thotrene..
Saladai kannaaga..nenjamum punnaanadhey..
Ithanai naalaaga…unnai naan paaraamal…
Engu thaan ponaeno..naatkalum veenaanadhe..
Vaanathil nee vennilla…yekkathil naan theivadhaa..
Ippodhu ennodu vandhaal enna…
oorpaarkka ondraaga sendraal enna…
Ippodhu ennodu vandhaal enna…
oorpaarkka ondraaga sendraal enna…

Mundhinam paarthene…paarthadhum thotrene..
saladai kannaaga..nenjamum ponnaanadhe..I
thanai naalaaga…unnai naan paaraamal…
Engu thaan ponaeno..naatkalum veenaanadhe..

(MUSIC)

Kaadhale…swasame…
Thula Thattil unnai vaiththu ,Nigar Seiyya Ponnai vaiththaal,
Thula Baaram Thorkaatho perazhagey..

Mugam paarthu pesum unnai…mudhal kaadhal sindhum kannai…
Anaikkaamal povenoo….aaruyire…

Ohhh…nizhal pola vidaamal unnai…thodarvenadii…
Pugai pola padaamal pattu…nagarvenadi…
Vinaanooru, kanaavum nooru”…vidai solladi…

Mundhinam paarthene…paarthadhum thotrene..
Saladai kannaaga..ullamum ponnaanadhe..
Ithanai naalaaga (oh my love)…unnai naan paaraamal (yes my love)…
engu thaan ponaeno..naatkalum veenaanadhe..

(MUSIC)

Kadal nilam angum neram..alai vandhu theendum thooram..
Manam sendru muzhvenoo…eerathile..

Thalai saaikka tholum thandhaai…viral korthu pakkam vandhaai…
Idhazh mattum innum yen dhoorathilee..

Pagal neram kanaakkal kanden,urangaamale…
uyirendum uraaiya kanden, nerungaamale…
Unai andri enakku yedhu…edhir kaalame…

Mundhinam paarthene…paarthadhum thotrene..
Saladai kannaaga..nenjamum ponnanadhe..
Ithanai naalaaga …unnai naan paaraamal…
Engu thaan ponaeno..naatkalum veenaanadhe..
Vaanathil nee vennilla…yekkathil naan thevadhaa..
Ippodhu ennodu vandhaal enna…
oorpaarkka ondraaga sendraal enna..
Ippodhu ennodu vandhaal enna….
oorpaarkka ondraaga sendraal enna..
……Vennilaa….…vennilaa…….vennilaa………………….

Loser?

Am i not capable of judging good from bad?
Am i not capable of deciding what i want and what i need?
Am i not capable of controlling my emotions and feelings?
Am i stupid?
Am i immatured?
Am i dumb?


Am i a LOSER?


I just feel like crying!!!!

Haha...

I typed this entry in 2005... Its super funny.. but u noe what.. i still stand by it.. but its funny.. .hahahahaha!!!!


Read it to know why!

http://ignorantv.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_archive.html

The title is "My Kinda Man"!

Beautiful Song

I noe this is like my 3rd entry for the day.. but thats how bored i am.. just watched thalapathy on tv( dunno i must have watched it umpteen times..) but today this particular song sounded exceptionally beautiful to me... So here it is...


Yamunai Aatrilae Eera Kaatrilae
Kannanoduthaan Aada
Paarvai Poothida Paathai Parthida
Paavai Raathaiyo Vaada
Iravum Ponathu Pagalum Ponathu
Mannan Illaiyae Kooda
Illaiya Kanniyin Imathidaatha Kan
Ingum Angumae Thaeida
Aayar Paadiyil Kannan Illaiyo
Aasai Veippathaei Anbuth Thollaiyo
Paavam Raatha.....
Yamunai Aatrilae Eera Kaatrilae
Kannannoduthaan Aada
Paarvai Poothida Paathai Paarthida
Paavai Raathaiyo Vaada!

Haiz...

Its a realshort song.. but it means so much!!!

Take A Bow

A song that caught my attention recently... I like the lyrics and the way the message is put across with a lil sacarsm(alot of it actually!)

Take A Bow lyrics

Hoo...

How 'bout a round of applause

Yeah...

Standing ovation

Oohhhh... yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah...

You look so dumb right now

Standing outside my house

Trying to apologize

You're so ugly when you cry

Please, just cut it out

[Chorus]

Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

You really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone

You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on

Talkin' about, girl, I love you, you're the one

This just looks like the re-run

Please, what else is on

[Chorus]

And don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

You really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow

And the award for the best liar goes to you

For making me believe that you could be

Faithful to me

Lets hear your speech out

How about a round of applause

A standing ovation

[Chorus]

But you put on quite a show

You really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow

But it's over now

I dun like this Weekend!

Its a Saturday... and what am i doin??? lying on bed... playin with my dog(who i think is equally bored as everyone is out except for me..) now he does not wanna play as he lies down like some poor think on my leg.. i wish i can take a pic of this and upload it, he looks super cute...

So yeah.. Mum and dad out to see the doc... sister out with frens to the theme park.. and me.. haiz.. No mood.. the fridays i always look forward to..went boring yesterday... I ended up not going for the deepavali show at work.. i didnt go for band practice and the cousin's dinner plan got called off as well.. i was not too well.. the stomach has been a great headache this past few days... So all i did was to come home immediately after work... (thanks to Yen Yen for the ride home!) and SLEEP!... Yeah i slept from 6pm till 11.30pm ...got up surfed the net for a couple of mins on my handfone.. and went back to bed got up this morning at 8 plus... surfed the net again.. played with my lil boy... watched tv.. and type this away while i am at it..

Got a show to sing at tonight at BB interchange.. I am not going early to help today as my stomach is still bad... So gonna go only at around 4pm... Was supposed to meet Vani tonight for a so called " pre-ROM party" dunno if its still on... I think i wud probably be comin st back home after the show... I am feelin so low.. since yesterday... Haiz

So the gym regime has started again.. Vani's goal is to get set for her traditional marriage to happen next year and mind wud be a short term one of tryin to lose a couple of inches to fit into my christmas party dress... We went to the AMK hub outlet last thursday.. Both of us hated the place... Crowd was overwhelming.. Jurong rulez at any cost!.. We decided to go there on days she is stationed at TTSH and to fusionopolis on days she is at NUH.. So a fair deal for both of us!.. After havin my shoe bag stolen(by none other den my beloved sister) i bought a new one on thursday.. Its Adidas and its blue(yeay) and looks somewhat like what Vani has..So nice nice..

Went to Vani's place after workout.. Met Denash, he is going to Hawaii in Jan.. for trainin.. Now how cool is tat? Only sad thing wud that he is going just a month after their ROM.. But Vani is practical and is completely okie with it... We toked so much abt travellin and was thankin god that we didnt really go ahead with our end of the year bangkok trip, with all the bombing and all goin on there... He was sayin that Zuirich wud be a nice place to go for their honeymoon.. How sweet!... When i left at abt 10.30, Vani and i had a mini chat at the doorway...

Vani is one person who has been by my side for the past 6 years(since we met thru the net and become what we are today) She is one person who never fails to be there for me no matter when.. The current confusion that i am in... She just listens to my hours of excited chats and explanations, descriptions, whinning, drooling(not really la), wishing haiz.. Babe.. I love u so much.. and i dunno what am i gonna do without u!...

Okie... I think i gonna go listen to some songs... the medicine to my soul... See ya guys soon!

I am sleepy...

I dunno why i dun seem to be getting that much of sleep this week compared to the last few.. and the surprising factor is i am not on call this week! I cant sleep.. the mind is very disturbed.. confused, challenged... argh i dunno!... I have to admit my life at TTSH ICL has become far more fun and exciting than i ever thought it wud be!... I feel i belong here and its just nice...



Last Wednesday Ah Ber, Ah Ping , Ah Hui and i ( also known as Ah Pun or Ah Nitha.... I know it sounds bad but its this lovin way of calling each other in the department) went for dinner after like tokin in the pantry till 8 plus... and the toking was like .....gud... i confessed alot of stuff.. and so did they.. All gud! back to the dinner... The gals wanted to eat chinese food and so they introduced me to the Old Hong Kong Kitchen.They were super sweet... they didnt order any pork or duck dish just cos i dun eat them and ordered dishes after asking me a zillion times though i told them i will just eat watever they order or maybe just avoid those that i wud'nt wanna eat... But they were really wonderful... Dinner was yummy i wud say.. My personal fav was the toufu with the scallop and mushrooms.. Sooo nice!!!! Yummy... Chatted over dinner and took a cab back home...



Speakin of which i am planning to cancel off my credit cards.. the main cause of me becoming pennyless by the beginning of the month... I am gonna just make do with my debit cards and be contented with what i have and save some money... I am 23 and have, not even a single penny as saving for myself!!! I have completely cut down my taxi rides to work.. i die die leave my house by latest 7 and am able to make it to work by 8am... so thats another major measure i am takin up!!(woah!!!) No more splurging on things for frens..(sorry guys) the last gifts i wud be givin them all wud be for christmas and ma darlin Vani's wedding gift.. apart from that no more...NO MORE PUNITHA!!!!



I am confused... sigh.... lost... i dunno what is in my mind.. i feel like a kid... I dunno what i want! But i noe i dun wanna go thru the same shi*t i did in the past 5 years.. Never ever again! For now i am gonna keep the hopes low and just enjoy the feelin... Haiz.. this weekend is gonna be.... nvm!!!

See u guys soon!!!

Boo....

I DUN LIKE THIS DAY FOR SOME OVIOUS REASONS!!! (Ok may be not that ovious!)

Random as always!!!

I have a love hate relationship with this blog of mine...





I dun wanna update it.. (actually more like i am lazy to update) yet i dun wanna abandon it either! and i love this place.. Cos it has alll my special moments captured from 3 years back.. which i wud say was the point of time i was like majorly growing...





Its my open diary which i let anyone and everyone read... I mean certain things are meant to be personal.. but at the end of the day.. life is short and i dun see a necessity for overprotection abt us and our lives! agreee? No... Never mind!!!!



So here i go....

• Life at work is getting from better to best... I think i love being at work these days... I have found frens in my colleagues and i feel so much better than how it was 5 months back!!!


• But some idiots still remain idiots but u noe what.. its not just me who see them as idiots...


• Velu puppy had his hair cut and boy.. he is bald!!!


• What was my secret is no longer one... Hehez! but it is still in some ways...
• I love my music when i am going to work.. especially the Satyam song... i am in love with the second stanza... The lines.. Perfect for what i am feeling now!
• I am gonna go back to gyming from tomorrow... After my long disappearence from it...Fitness first here i come again!!!
• I badly need to lose weight...
• I am soooo happy for Joane!!! Congratz babe!!!
• I need to get down crackin my head on the gift exchange thingey!
• I miss Dr Albert!
• Vani will be Mrs Denash in like a weeks time! OMG!!!
• I am sleepy and super tired... So Adios everyone!!!!

Toodles!

Smilin....

I may seem uninterested.. But my mind is always on it...
I may seem distant... But i am just going round and around it...
I may seem occupied by other things... But i am thinking only about it...
I may seem like i am not... But i am...

Makes sense?.....


Haha....

I am smilin.....!